Are we stuck in
our own personal traps?
[Anthony Perkins as Norman Bates in PSYCHO, (1960) Universal Pictures]
Perhaps
my favourite scene in the Alfred Hitchcock movie Psycho, is
when Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins) is honouring his guest with milk
and sandwiches and they are discussing in an indirect way their own
social and psychological plight. Marion (Janet Leigh) mentions that
she would like to escape to her own private island and Norman says:-
"People
never run away from anything...
...I
think we're all in our private traps, clamped in them,
and
none of us can ever get out, we scratch and claw but only at the air,
only
at each other, and for all of it, we never budge and inch..."
[excerpt:
Alfred Hitchcock's 'PSYCHO' Universal Pictures 1960]
For
those with any recurring personal problems, these words strike a
chord. And I have to admit, I have felt like Norman (on this issue)
many times myself (I think some opponents might seek ground against
me with that admission). Yes, we appear to have choice, as we can
walk right or left as we choose, but freedom, development and growth
are not as simple as trying to turn right or left.
We
may all find ourselves with particular behaviours we don't seem to be
able to shake off, even though we know they are bad for us and push
us further into the darkness. We all may find ourselves in
circumstances, whether social, political, economic or otherwise,
that we don't seem to be able to escape from, no matter what
strategies we adopt. Many people, after a range of efforts and
journeys that appear to always end up in the same place, give up.
When
we perceive that we are are going to be forever shackled we can end
up adopting a very negative mindset and turn to the escapism of
drugs, alcohol, serial and shallow relationships, social
exploitation, self harm, violence, rage, depression and even suicide.
Or someone clutches at unlikely solutions like gambling or jumps into
even more desperate measures in the hope of escape, even if these
measures end up in even more damage to the self, family or community.
So
why is that we can't escape our private traps?
- We have a character partly innate that causes us to think and act in certain ways. We are creatures of habit.
- Our character is also partly shaped by our environment and if we don't change that environment or character we can end up with the same inward mechanisms that make us fall down the same holes.
- We have emotions and emotions move our thoughts and actions and give us repeated feelings. This inward cycle can make us feel we are anchored to a self we want to separate from.
- The human mind is limited. Our vision is limited by that intellect.
- A human has instincts which are hard wired into the physiology and psyche, they often pull us in the opposite direction to our intellect and best destination.
- The socio-political system around us is shaped in a certain way so that results get repeated. That system is underpinned with beliefs, ideology, culture and laws all which conspire against the human development and nature so that society seems like one big immovable prison.
- We have social, economic, community and political relationships that we feel narrow our vision, demotivate us and restrain our movement and growth.
- Our knowledge is limited, and our choices and thus actions, objectives and 'escape routes' are limited by that ignorance. If you can't see the doors its difficult to open them, even more so if you don't know they exist.
- It is easier to give up and lie down than make an effort to move all the obstacles we encounter.
- Because of the above and other factors, history repeats itself, when we know that we think that the world and our own personal world can not change. Things keep happening the same way because the beliefs, thought processes and interactions are the same. Cause and effect applies.
- The people who make a dramatic change appear to be few and it can be that we never meet such people. This means we meet many people who don't change and don't want to change. Such people may not inspire us to action, especially if we are thinking negatively.
- We can try something several times and end up not succeeding, even when it seems we took the correct steps. Whereas someone else may seem to be less capable and not take the correct steps yet still be successful. We may tell ourselves at that point that we are not meant to succeed.
Many
people may not reach a higher purpose and standard of behaviour, so
this may give the impression that no-one does and humans are
generally not up to it. But this does not mean its not possible
because most don't achieve it, most are perhaps not even focussed on
trying.
How
do we know we can escape our private traps?
- Harry Houdini [d.1926] (the escapologist) escaped many traps and people do escape from real prisons.
- There are many people who are in even worse circumstances than ourselves who make an effort, make some decisions and do end up in more favourable positions. Therefore it is not impossible.
- Humanity regularly develops in the material/technological sense. The universe contains many forces and resources that can be exploited for change, and human civilizations are continuous proof of that.
- Although we have inward traits that we were perhaps born with and a character developed over years, this does not mean these things cannot be be changed and their harmful effects limited. If we train ourselves to pause and think more rather than to react instinctively and emotionally we can stop a preventable crash from happening.
- It may seem easier in the short term to give up on problems rather than making the effort needed it is not a sound calculation to make. We get out what we put in. It makes more sense to work in the short term for an ultimate good end.
- We are undoubtedly creatures of habit but we are also creatures of change. We can make a beneficial change and then turn that new change into a habit. An established norm was originated at some point.
- We have indeed already experienced change and development many times in our own lives, its just that we are ungrateful and forgetful. Did we not see after being blind? Did we not grow after being small? Did we not learn to speak, read and write after being illiterate? Did we not become clothed after being naked? Was our pain not removed? Did our illness not pass? Did we not feel pleasure after pain? Did we not enjoy food after being hungry? Water after thirst? Joy after sorrow? This all shows us that our perception and direction of thought about stagnation and development is key to unlocking the doors of positivity and progress.
- We interpret the existence of all difficulty and negative opposites as a bad thing. Yet this again, is from our own lack of deep thought and knowledge. Do we not recognize and appreciate attributes by the existence of their opposites? Are these negative attributes not a benefit in many ways? Does not the spectrum of negative and positive attributes allow us to achieve balance? Do we not benefit from such tests around us so that we grow by our trials and see other people for who they are?
- Although our instincts are a strong pull on us, they do not compel us into particular acts. Rather there are a range of ways in which an instinct can be fulfilled so that we are regulated. We do not have to be a wild howling wolf nor a caged bear.
- Our sense of failure or being trapped is perceived by the contrasting spectacle of success, that we are are aware of through a possible dream or through witnessing others. This means it is clearly obtainable in theory, as its concept exists and its reality exists. If it can exist in others then we are human too with similar capabilities and opportunities.
- We live in an age of much depression and frustration yet it is also a time characterised by spirituality, positive thinking, counselling, self-help etc. These positive things can be found in many places and from various sources. When we we study them, much of what they offer makes sense and puts things in perspective so that we know immediately that if we were to implement the related advice we would likely achieve some change or even major change. We also know that many people working or immersed in these fields have transformed themselves or assisted people in transforming their outlook and their direction. Therefore, there is no inevitability about being trapped.
- Concerning constricting and suffocating relationships with individuals, groups, organizations and societies, then we do not have to be ensnared by these. We can realign these relationships, renegotiate them or sever those that have become too toxic. We often fear what is different and we may have become mind controlled into thinking we are dependent on such associations, but this is likely to be false and sometimes we need to break on through to another reality in the interests of survival and then assess the next move.
- We may try something many times and not succeed, but this does not mean no progress or change has been made. Efforts do bring about changes in our inward reality and in the world around us that perhaps we don't see. Also we can benefit from these efforts for later expeditions. Trying something and not hitting the point we intended to does not mean no progress was made at all, we need to build on what was gained. It is not only this though, even if no progress is made in terms of material results, it doesn't mean the next time we wont succeed. Some of the most 'successful' people in the world knocked on a door many times, maybe even hundreds of times until a door was finally opened for them. It can be this patience and perseverance that is the difference between success and failure.
- Another point to consider when looking at the success that seems to come easily to others is that, firstly, their scale of success maybe different and that they may want to achieve other things that they are struggling in. Secondly, they may have all sorts of problems and obstacles that we don't have and they may look at us with equal envy. Even if we did find ourselves in their relative ease, we may not like it when we get there. Success can be a very relative thing.
- We can change our mentality and inward state by thinking about different things and in different ways. This inevitably leads to different emotions and actions which translate into different outcomes.
- The traps we often find ourselves in are due to our own ignorance, the cure for that is to seek more beneficial knowledge to increase the options and awareness of possibilities.
- Sometimes the trap we are in is only imaginary. This is cured by cutting through self made delusions and seeing the reality as it is. The reality can elude us when we continually twist it, add to it and take from it.
- Traps can be the result of societal conditioning. This process can be broken by independent thought and questioning the foundations and systems that surround us. People seek refuge and anonymity in conformity but this can mean stagnation and disaster if the crowd are wrong. We should not walk in the same direction as everyone else for the sake of it nor on the assumption that they must all know where they are going and why.
The
Islamic culture has a very detailed and deep answer or answers to
this question of the ability to escape one's difficulties. It is of
course delving into the subject of predestination, fate and free
will. This question in fact resulted in various sects arising, due to
their position on fate and choice. There was the Qadriyyah who
considered that we have free will and act as we please. There were
the Jabariyyah, who considered we were compelled in our actions by
God and could not escape who we are going to be and that there is
only the illusion of free will.
There
are of course many views between these views and similar existed in
previous nations and peoples whether Christians, Greeks etc. The
Qadriyyah had their arguments from reason to support their position
and could draw and many verses of the Qura'n and statements of the
Prophet Muhammad (saw). e.g.
Everything
has been subjected to our use, this is clearly indicating the role of
our choice and creativity
"And
He has subjected to you, as from Him,
all
that is in the heavens and on earth:
Behold,
in that are Signs indeed for those who reflect."
(QURA'N
al Jaathiyah [The Kneeling] 45:13)
Similarly,
the the role of man's choice in his own belief and acts has been
indicated in hundreds of verses e.g.
“Verily
We have shown him the way,
whether
he be grateful or ungrateful”
(QURA'N
al Insaan [Mankind] 76:3)
“...but
whoever changes from belief to disbelief,
Has
strayed without doubt from the even way.”
(QURA'N
al Baqarah [The Cow] 2:108)
“Means
of insight have now come unto you
from
your Sustainer [through this divine writ].
Whoever,
therefore, chooses to see,
does
so for his own good;
and
whoever chooses to remain blind,
does
so to his own harm.
And
[say unto the blind of heart]: "I am not your keeper."
(QURA'N
al Ana'm [Cattle] 6:104)
“SAY
[O Prophet]: 'O mankind!
The
truth from your Sustainer has now come unto you.
Whoever,
therefore, chooses to follow the right path,
follows
it but for his own good;
and
whoever chooses to go astray,
goes
but astray to his own hurt.
And
I am not responsible for your conduct.'"
(QURA'N
Yoonus [Jonah] 10:108)
The
Jabariyyah, who would be more aligned with Norman Bates' philosophy,
also had their arguments from reason and also drew on many verses of
the Qura'n and statements of the Prophet (saw). e.g.
“Allah
has created you and what you do.”
(QURA'N
as Saffaat [The Ranks] 37.96)
“But
you cannot will unless God Wills...”
(QURA'N
al Insaan [Mankind] 76:30)
“But
they will not remember unless God Wills...”
(QURA'N
al Mudathir [The Enwrapped] 74:56)
“If
it had been God's Will,
they
would not have associated (partners with God)...”
(QURA'N
al Ana'm [Cattle] 6:107)
“...they
are not the ones to believe unless it be God's Will...”
(QURA'N
al Ana'm [Cattle] 6:111)
and
the Prophet Muhammad (saw) was reported to have said on the authority
of Abu Moosa al Asha'ree,
“There
is no movement and no power except by God.”
(BUKHAARI,
MUSLIM)
The
Jabariyyah could also draw on the fact that God has a Plan [makr] and
Decision [Qada'] which are never frustrated, e.g.:-
"Even
so: Allah creates what He Wills.
When
He has decreed a matter,
He
but says to it, 'Be,' and it is!”
(QURA'N
aali I'mraan [The Family of I'mraan] 3:47)
“...Those
before them did (also) devise plots;
but
in all things the overall planning is for God...”
(QURA'N
ar Ra'd [Thunder] 13:42)
“…For
Allah will surely accomplish his purpose.
Verily,
for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion.”
(QURA'N
at Talaq [Divorce] 65:3)
“…But
forgive and overlook,
Till
Allah accomplish His Purpose;
for
Allah has power over all things.”
(QURA'N
al Baqarah [The Cow] 2:109)
“And
the commandment of Allah is always executed.”
(QURA'N
an Nisaa’ [Women] 4:47)
“...For,
God always prevails in whatever be His purpose,
but
most people know it not.
(QURA'N
Yoosuf [Joseph] 12:21)
[NOTE:
There are an enormous amount of verses and ahadeeth on this subject,
with many explicit and subtle points derived from them. This subject
needs books rather than brief articles.]
These
two sects are to opposite ends of the spectrum. But they both have
some proof for what they say. However, the truth is that we have a
limited free will and that the Divine Will, Plan and Divinely created
properties of creation can mean that certain things will be, no
matter what someone else wants and no matter what they try.
I
have actually written about this topic from an Islamic angle in much
depth before and I have many Islamic books which delve into this
subject with great detail and there are many verses of the Qura'n,
hundreds if not thousands that relate to this subject and the same
can be said to the statements of the Prophet (saw). So I am not going
to delve into any depth here about it, as it is indeed a book I
probably need to write at a later date.
We
can of course never understand this topic fully, because it goes
beyond our human understanding and knowledge and delves into the very
essence of who we are, how the universe works and how the Divine Acts
and Attributes are. These are topics we have been given a limited
understanding of. However, the Islamic teachings provides much detail
on it, whereby we can reach a sure view and belief on it that serves
our purposes here on this earth. The result is that we don't fall
into the delusion that we are independent and all capable, such is
the mantra of many supposedly 'self help gurus', 'positive thinking'
enthusiasts and 'new agers', while also not falling into the
negativity of defeatism, absolute fatalism, total surrender to
circumstances and problems and thus stagnation.
The
reality is that God willed us to have choice, but as we said before a
limited choice. The Quran (also the Bible) emphasizes individual
responsibility and accountability. Good actions are blessed and
rewarded, bad actions are cursed and punished. Our choices are
limited by our knowledge, circumstances, resources, time, place,
emotions, physiology and senses, even a materialist must admit this.
We are also limited by the Divine Actions, forces of nature and
physics that are known and seen and those forces which are unseen.
This is not the whole picture though, as the monotheistic Islamic
theology reveals many elements whose mechanisms have quite an impact
on where we end up depending on our relationship with these elements.
Our actions and inward state have a relationship with the Divine
Actions and Attributes so that we can be subject to guidance and
misguidance. There are inward states we can adopt and actions we can
perform which alter what happen to us, so that the opportunity to be
guided and benefited is always available.
God
created everything with inherent nature, properties and purpose and
we can not alter that nature. e.g:-
“...it
is He who created all things,
and
ordered them in due proportions.”
(QURA'N
al Furqaan [The Criterion] 25:2)
And
thus the necessary consequences of that Divinely bestowed can not be
escaped. For instance we were born to eventually die:-
“Wheresoever
you may be,
death
will overtake you,
even
if you were in lofty towers....”
(QURA'N
an Nisaa' [Women] 4:78)
“We
have [indeed] decreed that death shall be [ever-present] among you:
and
there is nothing to prevent Us.”
(QURA'N al Waaqi'a [The Event]
56:60)
“Who
has created death and life in order to test you which is best in
action...”
(QURA'N
al Mulk [The Dominion] 67:2)
“Say:
‘The death from which you flee will truly overtake you.”
(QURA'N
al Jumu’ah [The Congregation] 62:8)
“And
We did not grant to any human before you immortality...”
(QURA'N
al Anbiyaa' [The Prophets] 21:34)
“When
their term is reached, not an hour can they cause delay,
nor
(an hour) can they advance (it in anticipation).”
(QURA'N
al A’raaf [The Heights] 7:34)
This
though does not mean that we have no choice in the utilization of
these properties. We are restricted by the limits and nature of our
bodies, minds and the environment but we have choices how we apply
what is within those limits.
The
Qura'n is clear that the reality of man on earth is not simply ease
and enjoyment, rather life has difficulties by its nature:-
“Verily
We created man in toil and struggle”
(QURA'N
al Balad [The City] 90:4)
But
this life was not meant to be miserable either and neither was the
revelation sent to make us miserable:-
“We
have not sent down the Qura'n upon you to cause you distress.”
(QURA'N
Ta-Ha 20:2)
Rather,
life is a continuous test of our inward and outward state in
prosperity and adversity, in difficulty and ease, the Qura'n says:-
“...and
We test you by evil and by good by way of a trial...”
(QURA'N
al Anbiyaa' [The Prophets] 21:35)
The
reality is that the dual drive was given to us to do good both by the
signs around us and by the motivations and warnings of the divine
texts. We can choose our actions, inward and outward and we will
ultimately see the fruits of our actions, good or bad.
“To
all are degrees according to their deeds:
for
your Lord is not unmindful of anything that they do.”
(QURA'N
al Ana'm [Cattle] 6:132)
We
have will and choice but the results of our choices, the results we
hope for, may not come about. But the will of God, is never
frustrated. So it makes sense to align ourselves with the Divine Will
as much as we can so as not to be frustrated.
“...Nor
is Allah to be frustrated (incapable) by anything at all,
in
the heavens or on earth:
for
He is All-Knowing, All-Powerful.”
(QURA'N
al Faatir [The Originator] 35:44)
The
Creator who is Just, did not compel us to do wrong, neither to
ourselves or others. If we choose wrong and thereby suffer from it,
we will only have ourselves to blame.
“Verily!
Allah wrongs not mankind in aught,
but
mankind wrong themselves.”
(QURA'N
Yoonus [Jonah] 10:44)
A theory has it that we are stuck in our personal traps because no matter how damaging, hurtful or irritating they might be, it is always sth known. And sth we are aware of is surely safer than the uncertainty of the unknown, at least we know we can survive it, actually we are surviving it and that is a fact. Any attempt towards a different direction contains risk. And risk takes guts. Another theory might claim that it requires effort to escape from a certain state, a situation that is considered bad for us. And a third obstacle in our way to make things better might be the fact that the trap is addictive. These are probably the most tricky ones and harder to escape
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